January 2012
27 posts
A Little Luck
My mom used to tell me that I’ve been very lucky in life and my brother’s been very unlucky, in order to explain why he doesn’t do well in school. I’d always tell her she was making stuff up. For years, I’d pride myself in being able to set goals for myself and achieving it - all due to hard work. Yet, the turn that my life has taken is convincing me otherwise.
In...
Recently Learned Lessons
Everyday, I miss school like no tomorrow. I feel myself slowly getting dumber and the humanity and life sucked out of me at how unproductive I am. I can’t wait to go back to school. I just need a reason to go. I don’t want to go to school and waste time. I want to have a purpose for being there. I have always loved school but I knew I would have to grow up eventually - can’t stay...
Strange Night
Everything was going pretty well then. Beforehand, I was worried it might be awkward. I kept thinking, “Just what will he think if I showed up with you.” But then why would it really matter?
We came in and said hi to everyone. As I made my way around to hug everyone, I could tell he was bothered by the very subtle reaction on his face.
Later on, someone suggested we play King’s...
Life Goes On
I got a big girl job today. You know, one of those painstaking 40 hours a week, full-time, life-sucking jobs with goodies like health benefits and crap that I should care about but frankly don’t. It’s exciting in a way because it’s going to force me to come out of my hole and interact with people. On the other hand, I don’t expect it to be anything that will light a spark...
“You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you’re becoming...”
– David Cook - Come Back to Me
Traveling and other Thoughts
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, “Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.” After reading that, traveling’s never really been the same for me. It was as if upon that realization, no matter where I go, I don’t enjoy it as much as I used to when I was younger. I started really traveling in high school, I suppose. It started with little trips to NYC when Tiffany and I would...
Random Babble
I told myself I was going to wait for my hair to grow out a bit and then dye it back to black and then get a haircut. My cousin went to dye my hair and made it brown again. And afterwards, I thought, oh it doesn’t look that bad. The week after, I realized, wait a minute! I wanted it black. How forgetful.
I woke up today thinking I was going to feel okay today. I went to the post office and...
Seasons (Fin)
(I found a poem I wrote last year that I never finished. I felt like finishing it now.)
You – you had it all.
Everything in you, to last the seasons:
Winter, spring, summer and fall.
I – I had it all.
All that came, the reasons;
Why it had to hit a wall.
And as it snowballed,
Nothing could stop the creeping,
Of the end, that ended it all.
“If you were here beside me instead of in New York
In the arms you said...”
– Snow Patrol - New York
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself because it makes you look like an asshole!”
– A line from Bridesmaids.
Before I Forget...
Some time on New Year’s Eve, I read a quote somewhere that said, and don’t quote me on this, I hope you’re happy in your life; and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to change it so that you will be happy.
I can’t seem to track down where I read that quote but it’s been lingering in my mind. It’s what I hope to have the courage to be able to do...
myevolvedthoughts:
Robyn- Call Your Girlfriend
...
Simple Request
When I’m tremendously upset about something, all I ask for is some time to get over it. What that means is, I need you to shut up. I don’t want to hear anything at that point. And in life, only one person can make me so mad I just want to jump off a bridge and that’s my mother. Out of nowhere, she wants to pick a fight, which is fine. If you want to have an argument, I would be...
Sway from the Truth
I started this blog to try to be honest and more open about myself to myself. I had no intention of many people reading this but that if those close to me did read it, I would have nothing to hide. Lately, I find myself holding back a lot of what I want to blog about. Ultimately, I hold back because I can’t handle the truth about myself.
In reality, the truth’s a hard dose to take and...
Come On, Come Here
The backdrop of the night,
Pushed into the frame
Standing there alone,
Middle of the street
I see your lights
Approaching in the distance
These bittersweet feelings arise
As uncertainty unfolds
Are you here to save me,
Or won’t you stop?
Come finish what was started
It’s all I ask.
“I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks...”
– In a Lonely Place, Nicholas Ray
First Blog of 2012
Shout out to my little cousin, who is now reading my blog. Now if only I can convince her to start writing in her own.
Oh right and Happy New Year, folks!
“I still, need ya, need ya, don’t mean to tease ya
If ya want me,...”
– Marianas Trench - Haven’t Had Enough.. horrible song to start the new year with but I don’t care. 